Healing from Gaslighting and Narcissistic Abuse
Gaslighting and Narcissistic Abuse Recovery
Understanding Gaslighting
Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which someone causes you to question your memories, perception, or reality. It often starts subtly and grows more intense over time, leaving you confused, anxious, and doubting your own judgment.
Common signs of gaslighting include:
Being told you’re “too sensitive” or “overreacting”
Having your feelings dismissed or minimized
Denial of things you know happened
Shifting blame or rewriting events
Feeling like you constantly need to defend or explain yourself
Gaslighting is a core tactic often used by individuals with Narcissistic Personality Disorder or strong narcissistic traits. It’s designed to break down your confidence and make you dependent on the abuser’s version of reality.
The Impact of Narcissistic Abuse
Narcissistic abuse goes beyond gaslighting — it can include emotional, verbal, financial, and even spiritual abuse. Over time, this type of abuse chips away at your sense of self.
Survivors often experience:
Chronic self-doubt and confusion
Anxiety, depression, and hypervigilance
Guilt or shame about leaving or speaking up
Isolation from supportive friends or family
Difficulty trusting themselves or others
Recognizing the impact is a powerful first step in recovery. You are not “too sensitive,” “broken,” or “crazy.” You were manipulated by someone who relied on control and domination to feel powerful.
Steps Toward Recovery
Healing from narcissistic abuse and gaslighting is not linear — but it is possible. Recovery focuses on rebuilding your sense of safety, autonomy, and identity.
1. Validate Your Experience
Acknowledge that what you went through was abuse. Reading about gaslighting and narcissistic abuse can help you name what happened and release self-blame. Journaling your experiences can also help you see patterns more clearly.
2. Rebuild Reality and Trust
Gaslighting warps your sense of truth. Begin grounding yourself by:
Writing down facts and timelines
Practicing mindfulness and grounding techniques
Surrounding yourself with safe, validating people
Working with a therapist like myself who understands trauma and narcissistic abuse
3. Set and Maintain Boundaries
Boundaries are essential for safety. Learn to say “no,” limit contact, or go completely no contact if possible. Expect pushback — and remember, other people’s reactions don’t define your worth or the validity of your boundaries.
4. Prioritize Nervous System Healing
Abuse leaves the nervous system in survival mode. Gentle self-care helps regulate your body and emotions. This may include:
Deep breathing or meditation
Gentle movement like walking or yoga
Getting adequate sleep and nourishment
Limiting exposure to triggering people or environments
5. Reclaim Your Identity
Narcissistic abuse often erases who you are. Begin reconnecting with your authentic self by exploring hobbies, passions, and personal goals. Notice what you want — not what others expect.
You Are Not Alone
Recovering from gaslighting and narcissistic abuse takes time, support, and compassion. Healing doesn’t mean forgetting what happened — it means reclaiming your power, rebuilding your identity, and knowing you are worthy of love and respect.
You are not the person your abuser told you that you were.
You are resilient.
You are enough.
And you can heal.
If you recognize yourself in these symptoms, know that you are not alone—and that recovery is possible.
👉 If you’d like to explore therapy or learn more about healing from trauma, you can connect with me at melissawillardlmft.com or on Instagram @melissawillardlmft559.
“
Ready to Reclaim Yourself?
If you're trying to understand your experience and rebuild trust in yourself after narcissistic abuse, therapy can be a powerful part of your healing.
I offer narcissistic abuse recovery in California and am here to walk with you on your journey back to yourself. You don’t have to make sense of it alone.
About the Author
Melissa Willard is a licensed marriage and family therapist providing virtual therapy to survivors of narcissistic abuse across California. With advanced training in multiple trauma-focused modalities, Melissa specializes in helping clients feel better, faster.
